B= benji
A= adam corolla
D= Dr Drew

________________________________________________________________

A "bill bellamy has left the building and now replacing bill is benji from good charlotte"
some talk
B "yea I gotta say guys, if I lived here id do this every week. This is one of the highlights of my-a my career, I love this show."
A "Well benji listened to this show back in highschool and possibly beyond"
B "Yes"
A "And now hes here living the dream"
B "Livin the dream kids, its possible.
A "His dream is drews nightmare everybody. And benjis, hes gonna be on live 105 and 91x and the weenie roast"
B "yea but you know, you guys, you dont have to plug anything for the rest of the show. How about that?"
A "God bless ya."
B "Well just be here, hangin out."
A "Good charlotte everyone W-W-W dot Good Charlotte dot com . alright." Laughs - Then adam talks about the actors from Dumb and Dumberer coming into the studio tomorrow.
B "was jim carey in that one too?"
A "He was in the first one"
D "He wasnt in the new one?"
A "He didnt make a cameo or anything?"
B "Thats disappointing"
A"yea the first one was kind of a surprise hit. Maybe this one will be too"
B - a reluctant hit, if you will?
A - Benjis feeling good. Hes staying in a nice hotel, hes driving a convertible mercedes around
B- Yea its a nice rental car
A- he got a new tat. Hes hangin out by the pool. Hes livin the life.
B- Thats right lifes good, its like living a vacation these past few days.
Some of Adams babbling about relaxing when you know you have a lot of stuff coming up.
B -Yea guys in Rancid played me the new record.
A- Hows that sound.
B- Awesome. My favorite band.
A- whens that coming out?
B- I think its comin out in June or July. Im not sure, but its-a best Rancid record ever.
D- Oh really.
A- We havent seen the rancid guys in a while but we had the-a transplant guys in here last night and thats part of the Rancid guys.

Ruthie a 16 year old talks about her moving friend. She was sad, their group was touchy feely. She was in her bed with the sisters boyfriend just snuggling. And they were "being there" for each other. He had trouble w/ the girlfriend, rubbing her back, making sure she was comfortable with that.

A-Its always weird, Ive tried this before. When youre a guy and youre trying to do some finger banging like Youre goin "oh baby its ok let it all out" and youre thinking, how do I transition from rubbing the back to
B -I know that kids wont believe this, but when youre 16 youre not really trying to console anyone that much.
D - When youre a sixteen year old male.
B- When youre a sixteen year old guy youre not like-
D- When youre a 23 year old guy?
B- I mean there are caring 16 year olds out there, but like, you know.
D- How about a 26 year old male?
A- No. Youre consoling your penis is who youre consoling.
B- (uncomfortably) yea, uh.
A- Ruthie, how old is this guy?
Ruthie - Hes 18
A- 18 alright.
B- Thats definitely worse.
She goes on about how he touches her leg.
A- "Oh I love guys. Oh I miss her too" (laughs)
B "and you werent feeling uncomfortable?
Ruthie- No b/c were all like that, we all snuggle. Were all like..
B-Me and my brothers are all like that too.
She talks about how theyre all "open" with eachother.
Drew says she needs to know boundaries.
Adam cuts in saying he wants to know what he did.
B- so long story short. What happened?
Ruthie keeps talkin about how he tried touching her but she told him to stop.
B- "He basically tried to put the moves on you, but you stopped him, which is good.
A -So now what
Ruthie wants to confront him.
Adam tells her to do the dignified thing and pretend like it never happened. Drew tells her not to be alone with people she's uncomfortable with.
A- I love the backtracking. "ohh Im bummed out I wanna console you." Then he tries to finger bang you and its like what are you doing? and hes like ohh I dont know Im so upset. This is the way I cope. A lot of people go to church, other people rub rosary beads or read a bible. I like to finger bang when(couldnt hear)
A- And listen girls, when u do that, "oh we get undressed in front of eachother and everyones cool and were like family."
D-No no no , thats bad news.
B-(in hippie voice) Were all just really comfortable with eachother man
D- men are like lion waiting in the brush. Watching the zebra there and the elk go by and if they slow down and show themselves, then they pounce.
A- thats right. Paul youre 15?
Paul- No, no Im 26.
A-Thats only 6 what 11 years off of what I said.
B- Not bad, not bad.
Paul talks about bachelor party. They got two strippers- he gets cut off by Benji.
B-you accidently killed one of them?
Paul- no I didnt
B-ok Im sorry, go on.
Paul talks about how they rub oil on themselves and the guys.
B-ooh tell me more.
Paul says how he got turned on when they rubbed oil on his friend and asks if hes weird.
(laughs)
Paul gets disconnected.
B- He was basically saying he had a thought about a guy.
They all say how they think it coulda been bogus.
A- What if youre getting married and u get a boner over a stripper rubbing oil on one of your buddies?
D-if the stripper is what his focus might have been on
A- yea but he wouldnt have called if that was it. We can all watch a porn movie and kind of ignore the guy-
B- yea I mean theres guys in porn. Not that I mean.
D-So what if thats happening?
A- Yea.
Drew says how he might be coming to terms with his gayness cuz thats about the age it happens.
B- alright paul, youre gay
D- Ganja?
A- No, Im not callin anyone Ganja.
Answer call-
A- so whats your real name?
Caller- its Ganga (rhymes with conga)
A- ooh Ganga
B- Ganga
Ganga- I just wanna talk to benji
A- here he is.
G- Hi benji
B- Hey whatsup?
G I saw you in sandiego last Friday (continues talking about when she saw him)
B -you have a sex question for me?
G-hah no. I wanna ask you. First of all, what you do on your spare time, and also if you have a girlfriend.
B: um I dont have a girlfriend, and in my spare time I like to . Uh go on loveline
A:and he likes to get tattoos and hang out by the pool.
B: Yea and watch my buddies get hot oil rubbed on them (laughs) that was a joke gan-ga
A: Thats a decent question which is. Is all ur spare time, if youre not makin music, and youre not in the studio, and youre not on tour do u just want to do nothing?
B: Sometimes. I mean, were a band that tours a lot. Like, we spent the last 3 years, 11 months a year on the road. And the one month that we werent on the road, wasnt like a solid month it was like a week here, four days here, three days here. So uh sometimes you just do nothing, absolutely and sometmies you know u do music.
A: But you dont have any hobbies-
B: I like to ride dirtbikes.
A: Oh really
G: Oh hey benji, can I ask you..are you kinda shy?
B: I am - sometimes
G: Ive noticed on stage, your brother joel hes always jumping around looking at every corner of the stage and you just kind of stay in one spot dont look at anybody
B: Some people would call that lazy, but Id like to call that shy
(Bill Bellamy recording from earlier in the show when they were talking about GC coming in the studio 2 times in a week) "WAY TO GO B!"
(laughs)
B: no uh, I, I, Joels actually more shy when were out and about in public. Joels like very, he likes his life to be very private. I dont really care. You know. Im shy sometimes, it all depends on my mood.

Adam asks her if shes goin to see Benji at 91x and she freaks out about them being there cuz she didnt know.

B: Yea, its a little surprise. No actually were not gonna be there.
G: JERK
Adam accidentally confused GCs schedule with the Transplants.
B: Ill be their guest rapper on the Transplants though.
They talk about the weenie roast and live 105.
B: I just didnt feel like stoppin you guys on that one. Just let it roll.
G: (says some stuff) I have a huge crush on you benji.
B: Oh, well thank you.
A: Good times babydoll
B: Use condoms.
Laughs
B: thats like the right thing to say right? Yea u know. Anytime- listening to loveline, Ive realized that at any point in the show if u dont really know what to say u just say use condoms and its appropriate.
B: Did you know that they card for condoms in some states
A: Really?
B: Yes
A: What is it 16 or 18
B: Ahh Im not sure, I dont really know, but I think its 18. But isnt that like defeating the purpose?
D: yes
A: It would seem like it would be to bust a-
D: But its an improvement to how it was when we were young. They were behind the uh there with the medication back where the pharmacist was.
B: And you had to go uhh I need some of those
D: Youd have to say mr smith I need some of those.
A: Well Drew, he had to go to Korea town to buy his cuz his father was a doctor and his father knew all the pharmacists and if he went anywhere in town, itd be like uhh "yea the pinski boy came in here and bought a truckload of condoms" (laughs) So hed have to head to where? China town. And you know, all us round eyes look all alike to them, it wouldnt make a difference. But youd have to go to the back and talk to the back and talk to the guy and youd have to go fish them out right?
D: oh yea. Youd line them up with the blue hairs.
A: Id have to make my own condoms in highschool.
D: Really? Whatd u make them out of? Cat gut?
A: no, I would use sometimes cat gut, other times-
B: Water balloons?
A: water ballons, crown royal sacks, whatever I had.
B: (very amused) Have you ever seen a water balloon?
Some talk
B: (in between laughs) its like that big dude.
D: it was the right size for him
Laughs

A: Sirida? Is that her name?
B: Sirida. 2 interesting names in a row.

Sirida doesnt get a lot of sleep, only like 4 hrs a night and wakes up with bruises on her back and stuff. Its been going on for months and she doesnt know how they get on her. Drew tells her to get checked for leukemia and some other stuff to make sure its not a blood problem. Adam thinks shes rolling around and stuff and hurting herself while she has nightmares. Benji asks if her lifes stressful, she says no just school and work.

A: hold on a second, do people u know people do that they go like oh I only sleep like 4 hrs a night. If u really break it down, you go to bed at 3 AM and get up at 6 am everyday? And I always think to myself, if in fact thats true, could u keep that up a week or 2 before collapsing?
B: I definitely have gone through periods where I have slept 3 or 4 hours a night for months at a time.
A: (shocked) Really?
B: yea. Were like on tour
A: no nap during the day or anything?
B: yea, no straight up running on like 3 hours, 3 or 4 hours of sleep. But then it catches up to you like every 2 weeks or something youll have like a couple days where you just feel like miserable and then you end up like sleeping all day one day and its a horrible cycle but-

Adam cant believe it.

B: Ill tell you guys a little secret about Joel. When joel-a, when hes got a lot of stress in his life (giggles) he sleepwalks and talks in his sleep. And like, when we graduated high school, we moved out and a we just recently, this year we dont live together- weve got separate places, but weve always lived together, we were always roomates and it freaks me out so much,..everytime, cuz hes like looking right at you and talking like nonsense
A: And his eyes are wide open
B: Or hell just go and pick something up and carry it around and talk. Its weird.
Drew is confused why it freaks people out.
B: Its weird. (stronger tone) Cuz theyre not conscious and its like-

They talk more about sleepwalking and how its weird and go back to the caller. They ask if shes gone through any trauma and she says no, but shes bi polar and her parents wont let her take medication. They think its not necessary cuz theyre religious.

B: What religion is that?
A: It aint Jews.
S: Well my dads a Piskapalian (sp?) and my moms Catholic.
B: So in those religions, youre not allowed to use medication?

She says no, but they just think she doesnt really need medication cuz shes just weird. Drew says its cuz they dont want to deal with the fact that their kids have problems, which is why kids do have problems cuz their parents wont let them be a separate person.
A: Do you like ever say to youre dad, " youre a PISS-kapalian"? a PISSkapalian! Then they say how she should do that and laugh a lot and theyll let her take medication. She says she doesnt get along with her dad. He used to drink a lot and both of her parents smoke pot and then her cousin got her into pot, but her dad got really mad at her even though he does it too. She keeps goin on how it shouldnt be wrong for her to do it cuz he did it.

B: It sounds like there are deeper issues.
A: Are they still religious when theyre smokin the weed and boozin too?
S: yea
A: Good times
B: Yes Rasta

A: And drew is, speaking of religion, as I predicted a few days ago-a, things have smoothed over in the middle east?
D: yes of course
A: no problem there. No problem-they put together about a good 6 days, now everyones blowin everyone up again. Ill tell ya. I got a plan, you know, thats gonna solve this whole thing.
D: Oh yea?
A: You know what it is? Move the Jews out to Baja.
Laughs
A: You know they gotta lot of land there.
D: Its a great piece of land too. It looks just like Israel.
A: theres nothing going on between Encinada and Cancun by the way. Its just all.
D: Well cancuns on the mainland.
A: Well Cabo. Theres nothing going on between Baja and Cabo just about 1500 miles of nothing, just desert.
D: Think about it. They brought the London bridge over to Arizona, they can bring Bethlehem over to Baja.
B: Build a couple you know
D: Bethlehem, Baja.
A: I got a couple of plans. First is-
B: Im alright with it.
A: we move the Jews in EARLY Sunday morning, late Saturday night. The Mexicans have been drinkin. Theyve been drinkin theyre hung over. They sleep in Sunday. We move them in, Im talking4 or 5 in the mornin on Sunday. Thats when the Jews move in, so the Mexicans dont even know it. Plus, with the dark skin and the beards and stuff a lot of them arent gonna know whats goin on.
B: And the sideburns.
A: Sideburns
B: curly
A: now heres the one potential trouble I was thinking about as far as headware goes. Never have two cultures been further apart in size.
D: We have to make the black sombrero.
A: yea, but the problem is, the problem is, that the yamikas the worlds smallest hat (Benji says "right" in the background) and the sombreros the worlds biggest hat. So theres gonna be problems there in terms of size, but I think we can get together on that. We move, and Im tryin to figure out. See jerusalem is like holy land because of the soil.
D: Bring it over.
A: Im saying. When, you just bring the top soil right?
D: Yea yea
B: Anythings possible.
A: Cuz you tunnel down a couple hundred feet and youre in the middle of the earth at a certain point. Yea, youre into magma and stuff. So I say you scrape up about the top 6 inches, you drag it out just past TJ into baja there, you spread it out. The Jews set up, its beautiful ocean front property. They could use some attorneys over there, some captains of industry they get the economy back up on the feet. They both have a love of horrible desserts. Which is, flan and holva. Holva is basically sand with honey on it and flan is basically just yogurt with honey dipped on top of it. So they both hate desserts and they both love the ocean and the desert.
B: hey, its kosher with me. (snickers by himself.)
A: its gonna work. Or should they just hang out where they are now surrounded by angry people that hate everybody and that love to kill and have a few more hundred bus bombs go off before everyones dead. You know what I mean? And I dont understand by the way why people are like (snotty voice) "we sent our kids to jerusalem to study this summer" "Really?? Youre sending your kids out to Israel"-
B: We sent them to have a near death experience this summer.
D: Maybe not near
A: How freaked out would you be if youre living in Israel and youre climbing on a bus or youre sitting at a café in a crowded part of town-
B: I wouldnt do it!
A: and can u imagine being some dentist couple from Encino, "yea we got a 19 year old girl and were sending her out to Israel for a couple of years to study abroad. Really? How about just sending her up the street to temple de-ba shalom or something. Let her get her fill over there. So anyway, this is never gonna work. This is why its never gonna work. Too many people wanting to go at it over there. Its not the entire population, its like 1 percent, but you take 1 out of every 100 people that wanna blow something up. You got a bad scene.
B: Yea, its never gonna work.
A: Move the Jews to Baja! thank you very much. Now I would say, move the Palestinians to Baja, but theyre gonna wanna start blowing the Mexicans up, so the Jews will move out there and palestinians just hang out and eventually just start blowing eachother up when they get bored.

They take a break.

A: Bill Bellamy has left the studio and Benji from Good Charlotte has stepped in.
B: Thats right. Not as tall as him
A: No, but funnier, better looking, and blacker.
B: Yes, thank you. Yea. (laughs)

A: Ive always envied being black. Cuz u know, you dont have to remember anyones name. Just the first initial. Thats a) number 1. Number 2, I watch these black comedians like on night at the apollo and stuff, and they just come out and theyre like where are yall from "philidelphia" "PHILLY IN THE HIZZAY" and its like, "Wooow, I wanna do that"
B: I think its easier also to, for them like to be funnier, dude they- white people are really easy to make fun of.
A: I know.
B: Most of us are pretty hokey like, (nasally voice) "Oh be careful. Uhh you know. You dont want to hurt yoruself"
A: I know.
B: I mean, thats you know.
A: Thank God as white people we have fat people.
Giggles
A: Because thats the only one we-
B: Because thats the only people we yea ur right.
A: As white people, were like the black peoples fat people.
Laughs, especially Benji.
A: Have you ever think about that? Thats heavy man, hea-vy. Drew.
B: Alright.
A: Drew are you ready to rock? Is that heavy, or are you too busy playing with your laptop there? Leighanne?

Shes got a really bad southern accent and shes worried about her boyfriend who seems to be losing interest in her. Then the play some like farming song and Benji chuckles.

B: How long have you been goin out?
L: like 2 to 4 months.
D: And hes losing interest.
L: Yea.
(Benji in background making doot doot doot noises.)
D: Well, it happens.
B: Well, at least you know, its only been 2 to 4 months.
D: at least you havent wasted 2 years.
B: yea.

She goes on about how theyve already exchanged I love yous and stuff and she doesnt want to run.

D: So you dont want to run?
B: (sings in high voice) I dont want to ruuun.

She says how when she knows shes gonna get hurt she runs, but this time she wants to stick it out. Adam asks for an example of how hes losing interest and she says he never says I love you anymore and he always wants to hang out with his friends.

B: Maybe hes comfortable now.